Journals86
Newest
Gone
2 min read
Though I know I have very few watchers, I am writing anyways to let you all know that I am probably done with deviantart entirely. the fact that I haven't even been on in so long should have told anyone (including myself) that I was done.
I am finding it harder and harder to draw (mostly due to the onslaught of depression I have to face daily without very much help). I realize that maybe I need some time to just shut everything out and find myself in this sea of stupidity and pain. I am tired of waking up every day to put on a fake smile and pretend to have my shit together for everyone. I am fighting a losing battle to life (which we all are, not to depress anyone or anything, but it's true).
I hope everyone is doing well, maybe some day i'll find my way back to deviantart, probably with a new profile and everything, but if i don't I wish you all a very beautiful life. If ever you need some strength, know that I am sending good vibes your way every day, every second.
Thank you all for being the crutches I needed through the years, but I think it's time I be my own crutch and learn to really deal with my shit.
Love you always
Sky
I am finding it harder and harder to draw (mostly due to the onslaught of depression I have to face daily without very much help). I realize that maybe I need some time to just shut everything out and find myself in this sea of stupidity and pain. I am tired of waking up every day to put on a fake smile and pretend to have my shit together for everyone. I am fighting a losing battle to life (which we all are, not to depress anyone or anything, but it's true).
I hope everyone is doing well, maybe some day i'll find my way back to deviantart, probably with a new profile and everything, but if i don't I wish you all a very beautiful life. If ever you need some strength, know that I am sending good vibes your way every day, every second.
Thank you all for being the crutches I needed through the years, but I think it's time I be my own crutch and learn to really deal with my shit.
Love you always
Sky
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Clean Up
1 min read
seriously considering going through my gallery and cleaning it the hell out. i have so much crap art on there and i really wanna start taking my art a little more serious (in terms of the amount of effort i put into each piece) especially because being an art student has been teaching me so much. i just want to apply my knowledge to my work!! :]
Sky
Sky
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Kind of back?
1 min read
i've been gone a while and recently attacked you guys with all my arts
but i guess im kind of back. or trying to be.
for those of you who read my last journal, i am NOT dying, which is good.
but ive been diagnosed with sleep apnea been re-diagnosed with PTSD (the doctors struggle to figure out if it was just depression or just anxiety and i guess they finally got it right or something)
im doing relatively well, still stressed out with college, but other than that, im ok
a little more updates on my life, i recently struggled with a drug addiction and stopped talking to about 99% of my friends. i really only talked to my friend Mat and my boyfriend. i went to a sort of rehab thing and got myself straightened out.
its good to be back.
-- Sky
but i guess im kind of back. or trying to be.
for those of you who read my last journal, i am NOT dying, which is good.
but ive been diagnosed with sleep apnea been re-diagnosed with PTSD (the doctors struggle to figure out if it was just depression or just anxiety and i guess they finally got it right or something)
im doing relatively well, still stressed out with college, but other than that, im ok
a little more updates on my life, i recently struggled with a drug addiction and stopped talking to about 99% of my friends. i really only talked to my friend Mat and my boyfriend. i went to a sort of rehab thing and got myself straightened out.
its good to be back.-- Sky
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Well Dudes
2 min read
seeing as not many people read this, i guess this journal is more myself to vent
my mother has a terminal illness. shes had it for a while now. she has ALS, more commonly known as Lou Gehrig's disease. there is no cure, only medications to slow down the process. recently my doctors been observing me more closely, saying that I've shown symptoms of also having ALS, which seems ridiculous because there are no studies proving that it's genetically passed on. But none the less, i have been put through a series of tests (electro-shock therapy, many blood draws, MRIs, CAT scans) and i have not gotten any results.
knowing how slim the chances are of me having this, I'm still very stressed out about it. My boyfriend knows, and I guess he's stressed too. It's a lot for a couple of 18-year olds to take on. But we have talked about it, and I have told him that if my results come back positive, that he doesn't need to feel obligated to stay with me. It's a shitty thing, to be in a relationship at 18 and be told that your girlfriend might be dying. :T and I don't want him to feel that he has to take this problem on with me.
he didn't give me an answer..which that alone gave me the answer as to whether or not he would stay. but it's not like we're married or have been together for very long so..
I'm just scared now that if the results are positive that I'll be left alone in this. :T my family doesn't even know that I've been going through all these exams. why worry them over something that may not even be a real issue?
idk guys.. idk.
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so.
1 min read
You just woke up next to me naked! Using only 3 words,
what would you say to me?
Note: Once you comment, you must copy and paste this
as a journal entry so I may comment on yours as well
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